On ‘comming out’
I know, second post and already falling behind schedule. opps… umm… well lets move on.
I intended to write something about this last week, bu then I saw that my university’s LGBT was having a ‘comming out’ disscusion group, and I thought “What a wonderful way to do some relevent ‘field research’.” This, I must admit, was my first foiyer into the local queer (queer may not be the right word, as everyone but me was gay, but in small cities you take what you get) community, and I think that I was their first brush asexuality. The topic tonight was ‘relationships’, so I thought that I would be atleast prepared, after all; as I’m sure everyone who has been to an ase disscusion forum can tell you; what we love most is to talk about relationships. Unfourtionatly the topics up for discussion tonight were… mundane… “ever had a bad breakup, ever been rejected, would it hurt if you were cheated on” stuff that isn’t very talk/thought provoking. After the I opened my mouth just to talk after the meeting I let slip something, I not sure what, that gave away my not-gayness, one of the leaders as ‘what I was’ since I took this as “If your not gay, then why are you here?” I told her I was asexual, and the short explination (I belive what I said was, “dated men, dated women, foud that niether had anything over dating nothing”) after which I got that *gasp* then the pity you stare that I’m sure lots of you have gotten. Over all it was a good time, and but I don’t plan on going to the next meeting next week, for what ever reason it just felt like I was taking a step back, like all their disscusions I’ve already had elsewhere, shame really.
It’s getting late so I’m posting what I have now, and will add an ademdum tomorrow.
ADEMDUM
My thoughts on the whole ‘comming out’ thing (for my utter inability to think of a better word at the momment) I think that it is important that you do come out in some way to those close to you; but, paradoxicaly the more important and freeing comming out will be, the more difficult it will be for you.
In a effort to err on the side of full discloser, I haven’t ‘officaly’ come out to my family, entirely because it’s a non issue. I’m too busy to have that kind of relationship (’cause, apperently they take alot of energy), and noone really makes an issue of my not dateing.
Ciao.
