Mental note, pick sanity up at drycleaner, FROG CHEESE PUMPERKNICKLE
Yeah, so for like the past week I’ve been slowly driving my self crazy (this is simultaneously an exaggeration and an understatement). On the first Saturday of this month I wen to a going away party or a pair of my high school acquaintances going to China (They’re doing well, apparently I’m the only one with cursed travel), anyway that’s only peripherally important. While I was there, most of my old class mates were there, but most importantly She was there (she number #3 for those keeping track at home), She was one of my prime crushes for years, even to today when I see her in passing on campus my muscles tense. She was by far the odd one out of my crushes, the other two I decided to have crushes on them, I made an intellectual choice ‘these individuals have traits and qualities that I find appealing in a variety of ways’ (yes I think in a very obtuse method), but with Her it was always a baser, more emotional attraction; not that I didn’t try to intellectualize it; I think (okay, more or less know) it’s because she is my social opposite, completely, best of all She has a histrionic streak, not a mile, let’s say 50m wide, She likes to have attention (hell, She’s a model, and in the interest of full disclosure, She’s a living marble statue) and I love to give attention i.e. observe. I was exhausted at the party, up for over 20 hours, surrounded by people most of the day, defiantly not playing to my introversion at all that day. I talked to Her for awhile at the party, between listening to Her and staring at the 17 foot bonfire I had constructed, it was enchanting; I can’t remember what She said, but we both enjoyed the conversation. Only thing I remember is that She asked me to contact her on a certain social networking site, which I did, I haven’t received a reply yet, and because I’m a little neurotic this week and I have a slight abandonment issue (Thanks Mom) this no reply is making me extremely anxious.
Ciao
P.S. I could not think of a better title
P.P.S My current course of action is to watch the old 90’s Marvel cartoons (x-men and spider-man), and laugh at various thing in them, not the cops with lasers or the prolific androids, those were a limitation of the media at the time
People aren’t worth it!
I am a prolific lover of airsoft; beautiful game really, when played for fun, as I did today (with a group of people from my uni). In doing so though I had a splendiferous time, but also a reaffirming slap in the face.
Women aren’t worth it!
Its not that I don’t understand their thought process, but some times its that I believe in its nonexistence. For example, there is one girl, lets call her Lucky, anyway Lucky hates me; that special kind of hate that you reserve for very few people you wish to see burn in hell. The thing is I have no idea how this happened, I only met her last year, we’ve never spent prolonged time together, we don’t oppose on issues/beliefs. Now i don’t mind a little hate, you can’t be everyones friend, but I at least like to now what causes enmity towards me, so I can at least try to minimize the actions or behaviour that cause it (after all if one person hates it, it probably annoys ten others). But much to my dismay she hasn’t let anyone in on the secret source of her ‘deep-rooted’ hatred. The strange thing is (and this is why I believe the thought process behind it is shaky, not absent), is that after about three drinks; so enough to have some effect, but still far from drunk; Lucky has absolutely now problem with me, none, at least once she even forgot who I am.
[GRAMMER CORRECTIONS at the behest of pretzelboy] She is not the only gril like this I know (and not all the examples involve them hating me [I not that bad, I don't think.]) but she is the most extreme example I could think of.[/end of Corrections]
Example of it in action at tonight’s airsoft game: So waiting in the lobby for the game to start, Lucky was sitting on the couch (a very long couch), I had gotten there much earlier ’cause I had some maintenance to do. I was tired of standing so every so discreetly and nonchalantly as I could I sat down on the far end of the couch, she made this evil throat sound and got up and walked away, I didn’t even make eye contact. Later, near the end of the match I was sneaking around when I saw some opponents rip for the picking, I snapped around the corner of the main corridor and tap, tap, tap, I took out three (really nice shots too) looking at the other end, I advance to their position, saw one of my guys had pegged down some more opponents; I check behind me, tap, got one more that had wandered behind me, dash around the corner, close-quarter-killing (calling an opponent ‘out’ without shoot them, only doable at close enough range that shooting them would be a dick move, performed buy pointing you’re gun at them and shouting ‘Mercy’) three before they could get a shot off, spin around to the sound of an empty gun firing, there is Lucky, I’m thinking “I’m not getting shot, she must be out of ammo”, so naturally I’m going to close-quarter-kill her to, but to be fair and give her a chance to realise she’s out of ammo, and maybe close-quarter-kill me I say ” I think you’re empty. Mercy!” now she almost got me but I called her out just as her first syllable was leaving her lips. At this point I figure “eight was a good run” and not wishing to incur any additional ill will I also call myself out. I swear to God, I though she was going to club me with her gun.
Men aren’t worth it!
Most men are after only after two things, you know the first, the second it to best other men in the most boyish fashion possible. Alcohol can supplement or replace either of the two things.
’nuff said.
The moral of today’s story is:
Venting to people (even though very few people to date have read this blog) on the Internet is cathartic.
Ciao
